The short answer is NO.

“Mutual Submission” is an oxymoron. Two things cannot be under (sub) each other at once. Either they are equal or one is higher.

In Ephesians 5:21, St. Paul does not say “mutual submission,” but rather to “be subject to one another.”

St. Paul then goes on to teach us about marriage. Does this mean husbands and wives are to be “subject to one another”?

Again, no.

Context and chapter breaks

When St. Paul writes, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (verse 21), he begins a new thought. It’s not a summary of what he has already written, but an introduction to what is to come. It is followed by a discussion of the husband-wife relationship, but that’s not all that follows.

If we ignore the artificial chapter break (chapter 6), we see three discussions that fall beneath this one topic of “subjection”:

1. Husbands and Wives (5:22–33)

2. Children and Parents (6:1–4)

3. Slaves and Masters (6:5–9)

All three naturally flow from the one “topic sentence” about being subject one to another.

Here is a synopsis of the discussions:

Masters are not told to submit to their slaves. Parents are not told to obey their children. Husbands are not told to submit to their wives. And of course Christ does not submit to the Church.

It is clearly the opposite.

So what does St. Paul mean when he says to “Be subject to one another” (5:21)?

The answer

The “one another” does not refer exclusively to husband and wife, as if they were to take turns obeying each other. Rather, it refers to the order of human relationships—groupings of people in relation to other groupings—according to their respective roles or vocations in life.

In other words, it’s not that husbands are to be subject to their wives and wives are to be subject to their husbands, but

• wives are to be subject to their husbands

• children are to be subject to their parents

• slaves are to be subject to their masters as to Christ.

THESE are the “one anothers” of “Be subject to one another” (5:21).

Of course husbands, fathers, and masters are all in turn to be subject to Christ. Everyone—man, woman, and child alike—is subject directly to Christ, the ultimate Head of the Body.

The Church is hierarchical, and so are human relations and all of society. But that doesn’t mean one party is greater in human dignity than the other, or that one has permission to bully or abuse the other; they just have different responsibilities—just like the body’s ear and eye and foot have different jobs, but none are less part of the one body.

If the “Christian feminist” thinks that one-way wifely submission to a husband means the wife’s dignity is under attack, then such a person does not understand the beautiful concept of natural order, which God has set in place.

No good man dreams of being married to a boss lady. In his eyes, nothing is more beautiful than a holy and submissive wife with a pure heart of gold.

Some of Scripture’s best marriage advice is found in 1 Peter 1-7:

> Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of robes, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you. Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.